Hello, my Starlings and Joybeams.
I know I've been missing in action lately. I haven't posted in a while, and trust me it wasn't because I ran out of things to say.
I've just been going through it.
Like… life has been grabbing me by the ankles and shaking out my pockets.
So, here's the rundown.
And before I get into it, I know these are very much first-world problems. I'm incredibly grateful for what I have, and I know things could have been much worse. But whew… when everything starts happening back-to-back, it can still feel like a lot.
First, My House Decided to Fight Me
It started with my AC unit flooding my bathroom.
And when I say flooding, I mean water literally came through the ceiling during a heatwave.
Because apparently simply having a broken AC wasn't dramatic enough.
Getting everything handled took about two weeks, and financially, it put me behind on some bills. It was one of those moments that reminded me how quickly one unexpected emergency can completely throw off your finances.
Living in America sometimes feels like being one emergency away from watching your carefully stacked Jenga tower of finances come tumbling down.
And unfortunately, the universe wasn't finished with me yet.
Not long after that, we had a really bad storm. Lightning struck near the side of our house and damaged our electrical system. It blew electrical panels, fried the AC unit, and took out our Wi-Fi.
Thankfully and I mean thankfully there was no fire. We were safe. The house was still standing. It was electrical damage that could be repaired.
But we were without power for about a week.
And then came another heatwave.
And no AC.
Again.
At this point, we've been without AC for about two weeks, and as I'm writing this, I still don't have it back.
So financially?
Baby, I am in the RED.
Then We Had to Say Goodbye to Liam
In the middle of everything happening with the house, we had to put our dog, Liam, down.
Liam had tumors that had spread, and we knew it was time.
But knowing something is the right decision doesn't make it hurt any less.
Liam was my husband's baby, and watching him have to say goodbye was heartbreaking. Losing a pet is such a specific kind of grief because they become part of the rhythm of your home. They're just… there. In your routines. In your memories. In the little everyday moments you don't even realize you'll miss until they're gone.
That was probably one of the saddest days we've had in a long time.
And honestly, I think we're all still processing it.
Because Apparently We Needed Strep Throat Too
Then my daughter got strep throat.
Because why not add a contagious illness to the mix? 😭
So now I'm walking around the house mentally screaming:
DON'T DRINK AFTER EACH OTHER.
WASH YOUR HANDS.
WHO TOUCHED THIS?!
Basically trying to prevent the entire household from becoming one giant Petri dish.
Thankfully, we're managing it, but it was just another thing added to an already very full plate.
Oh Yeah… I'm Going Back to School
And somewhere in the middle of all of this, I remembered something pretty important:
Girl, you enrolled in school.
Which also means…
Girl, you have a payment plan.
And those payments are monthly.
So while my bank account was already looking at me like, "Carmen, please stop," another payment entered the chat.
I'll be starting classes in September, and I'm genuinely excited about going back. But financially, the timing has definitely added another layer of stress.
Normally, when unexpected expenses happen, you think, Okay, I'll pick up some overtime.
Except I'm salaried.
So… no overtime.
Maybe get a second job?
That gets complicated because of the restrictions around where I currently work.
So I've basically had to look at everything happening around me and figure out how to make what I already have stretch a little further.
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And that has been stressful.
So Yeah… It's Been a Hell of a Month
House repairs.
No AC.
No power.
Unexpected bills.
Losing Liam.
Strep throat.
School payments.
Starting classes.
Trying to keep up with regular adult responsibilities while everything around me seems to be screaming SURPRISE EXPENSE!
It's been a lot.
And when life gets like this, my creativity is usually one of the first things to disappear.
I go into survival mode.
I stop writing.
I stop creating.
I stop sharing.
I start telling myself, I'll come back when things calm down.
But I'm starting to realize something:
What if life doesn't completely calm down?
What if waiting for the perfect moment to create means I spend my whole life waiting?
Maybe building my dream life isn't something that only happens when everything is peaceful, my bills are paid ahead, my house is functioning perfectly, my hair is done, my schedule is organized, and I'm feeling 100%.
Maybe sometimes building your dream life looks like creating while your life is still a little messy.
So…
I'm Back.
I've missed this.
I've missed writing.
I've missed sharing pieces of my life.
I've missed having a little corner of the internet where I can show up as myself.
And more than anything, I want Carmen Whimsy to become a community where we can safely share our thoughts, opinions, struggles, wins, dreams, and weird little ideas without feeling like we have to have everything figured out first.
A cozy corner of the internet for people who are still becoming.
People rebuilding.
People starting over.
People trying again.
People creating dream lives while simultaneously dealing with very real life.
Because I don't have everything figured out.
Clearly. 😂
But maybe that's the point.
We're taking it one thing at a time.
One bill.
One workout.
One class.
One blog post.
One scary decision.
One tiny step toward the lives we actually want.
And if you've been having one of those months where everything seems to be happening at once, come sit with me for a while.
Grab your coffee, tea, matcha or whatever little emotional support beverage you're currently obsessed with.
We'll figure it out together.
Welcome back to Carmen Whimsy.
And honestly?
Welcome back to me.